What is a divorce coach?

The American Bar Association defines “divorce coaching” as “a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns.”

Whereas a divorce attorney helps you with legal strategy, document drafting, and court appearances, a divorce coach helps you set personal and legal goals, and provides guidance in achieving them.

In addition, a divorce coach differs from a therapist, who primarily helps you unpack and process past pain.

 So what can a divorce coach do for you?

Save Money

It’s true!  Divorces are messy.  Divorce coaching is an investment into a clean and simplified divorce.  A divorce coach can help you set a budget for legal expenses, and help you identify the specific issues that must be properly addressed legally.  Is your ex making lots of threats about how he is going to take you down in the legal process? I can guarantee that those threats are mostly hollow.  A divorce coach can help you eliminate your fears and worry (and the need to spend legal resources).

Insight

A divorce coach can provide insight into what you need to work on if you want to make the transition easier. The emotional aspect of divorce is probably more difficult than the legal side of it. Divorce coaches can offer their legal expertise in the process, but their ability to provide goal-oriented advice can also be advantageous. They can encourage you to see the big picture so you won’t be overwhelmed by the challenges you face. This makes it easier for you to focus on your priorities and goals within the immediate future.

Decisions

A divorce coach can guide you in making better decisions. Again, it is easy to be overwhelmed with emotions when you are going through the separation process. With the guidance of a professional, you can think logically and make decisions that aren’t driven by feelings.

Sanity

A divorce coach can help maintain your sanity. The presence of one in your life during this phase might be what you need to stay sane. It gives you confidence that someone is in your corner ready to provide emotional support and guidance when you need it most.

Resources

A divorce coach can lead you to other helpful resources. They can provide legal advice and emotional support, but they cannot give you all the help you need. But with their expertise, they can identify what other types of assistance you need for a successful recovery. They can offer more useful information and determine where you can go to for help (if necessary).

Stress

A divorce coach can help you cope with the stress of the whole experience. Talking about the difficulties of going through a divorce can help ease the negative impact on your life. Their goal is to help you process negative emotions such as frustration, anger, and sadness that inevitably accompany a divorce.

Rebuilding

A divorce coach can help in the process of rebuilding your life. Your coach can help you identify where you want to be at the end of the divorce process, and then help you turn that into reality. Coaches can help you identify and achieve a new and advantageous living situation, financial set up, career, or relationship.

Family

A divorce coach can provide a safe place for you to turn to when the challenges become overwhelming. It is their goal to minimize the damage of divorce on your family.

Should you choose coaching or therapy?

There are differences in the roles that coaches and therapists play in the divorce process. Deciding which of the two to work with can be difficult but, hopefully, this article has cleared up some of your confusion.

A therapist’s role during divorce recovery might seem similar to a divorce coach. This is one of the reasons why most people often assume they are one and the same. But there is actually a significant difference in what they can do.

A divorce therapist is someone who is hired to initially provide counseling for divorced couples (or an individual). In some cases, marital counselors or therapists are used by partners as a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. However, it is not uncommon for couples contemplating divorce to not share the same level of enthusiasm about seeing a therapist.

It’s recommended to work with a divorce coach if you want to handle the practicalities of the situation with ease.

They can offer the services of a therapist and a divorce lawyer in one. They help you with the practical steps and information. At the same time, they can offer support for your intra- and inter-personal challenges during a divorce.

On the other hand, divorce therapists are a good option if you want to dig deeper into your childhood and the issues regarding how your marriage failed. Therapists can help identify where your relationship went wrong so you can hopefully correct these errors in the future.